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♥ Tuesday, December 1, 2009 ♥

Hello December. :)

Yay. December is fun...and cold. Hahaha. I love you! Mwaa. :* Holidays are yeah. :))




timecheck: 9:48 PM



♥ Friday, November 27, 2009 ♥

100.



Pre-100 - Happy.
Post-100 - Bad.



Hope to count more days. :|
i am tired staying away.






timecheck: 10:02 PM



♥ Thursday, November 19, 2009 ♥

Bet you didn't know...

That yesterday, I did something against your will
For such benefit, for friendship's sake.

That during the loneliest times, I pray harder
And was hurt the most.

That I am tired trying to settle things
But kept on trying hoping for a better end.

That aches inside were awful
Unbearable than ever.

Bet you didn't know
That it was my choice
To clear up messes of petty fights
And to reconcile with those whom I have hurt along

Bet you didn't know
That today is exactly the day
Our fate met three months ago
When your presence had done so much for my heart to beat.


:(


-For lovers and friends. Just random rants.







Pedi nang magkalimutan. Wala na kong balak sayo. Im breaking my Oct. 31 promise.




timecheck: 11:47 AM



♥ Friday, November 13, 2009 ♥

I hope I love you all my life.

Today was something unbearable. I woke up with swollen red eyes after having a late night sob. Talked with Mom some stuffs last night until I suddenly felt a tear... then tear'S' while I discuss. Actually, the tears weren't meant for the issue I was blabbing about but was actually because I was in deep pain yesterday. Then I had a nap at dorm before going to school by 10am today. And my puffy eyes got puffier... worse, I felt a headache.

So everyone asked. No comment. Hirap magexplain. Haha. Then, sometime today, I was discussing old school boy band songs with my girlfriends. We were singing in unison until someone blabbed about this song. This awfully struck me. The lyrics seemed to pertain to no one but me. I mean every part of the song is what was happening, word by word. Haha. Why does it have to be like that when you're depressed? Every single song you hear seem to be a painful stabber in your chest? Tss. Deym.

If You're Not The One - Daniel Bedingfield




If you're not the one, then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine, then why does your heart return my call?
If you you are not mine, would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We'll make it through and I hope
You are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you, then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you, then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me, then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me, then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through and I hope
You are the one I share my life with

And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray that you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss your body and soul so strong
That it takes my breath away
And I breath you into my heart
And I pray for the strength to stand today

'Cause I love you whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?

---

Patawa. Sabi nga sa New Moon, "forbidden to remember, terrified to forget". IDK. Perhaps once everything is settled, I might forget. Im just afraid things would change. Pero Im starting na not because I want to but because I need to. I think if I would have had to hurt someone, if could, I would na in every way so as to part ways. Sorry for being mean. I need to be mean to let go.

Sabi ni Ms. Kechup, time will tell Mahal if I am yours.



For now, let's go back to basic. Even the basic still tears up our hearts.

















Haaaaaay mga emoterang kaluluwa, lubayan nio nga ko. Tek na yan. >.




timecheck: 9:36 PM



♥ Monday, November 9, 2009 ♥

Sekunsem

How fast time flies nga naman. All of a sudden, second sem na. Bukas malamang, graduate na ko. Hahaha. Ae, kami pala. :) So, I was bored kanina. 1st day of second sem. But I was good. I was actually good. And I couldn't feel lighter although of course, there are things that lets you into deep thinking pa rin pero let's try to keep myself back on track. Haha. And be optimistic muna sa ngaun. My schedules are still deadly. Haha. And we're gaining new friends, hopefully.

FRIENDS. Pa-react lang ako ah. Kasi recently, I've been really puzzled with how my old friends respond.

- Sila. IDK what was the problem. Biglaan na lang ata ako nadamay sa kanila for no reason...or dahil sa mababang reason na hindi ko daw pagtulong sa machine prob? Haha. Easy lang. You know me na until now wala akong kinakampihan. Kaso parang minsan below the belt na ata eh. Easy lang po ah. Keribels lang. Wala po un sakin.

- Siya. Si 2yrs. IDK. (Teka, bat lahat, i dont know? x) Haha. Basta, all of a sudden he was bitter. I remember how every once in a while, before he shares his heartbreak night story, he would promise he would not do something against me...like what he did to all his other girl friends. Kaso, dumating din kami sa ganun...for inexplicable reason. I know time will come na we'll talk about this. Sana..... kasi yoko sya kagalit. He had no idea how he had once put me into bliss. :(

- Si KB at insekyora. Until now feeling nila sulutera pa din ako. Ahai Meron po akong sariling buhay pagibig. Pakitali na lang po ng maigi mga partner nio ok. Hindi ko po un gawain. I remember tuloy nung sophomore ako, a girl said to me she'll kill me. Last night, another girl said she could slap me in the face infront of Pop. Owkhay.... Sana ginawa nila nu.


FRIENDS. Friends ko kayo ok. Wala po akong something against you. Sana po may paunang sabi naman. Wag biglaan. T_T

Im not saying this to keep myself clean or something. I just do not know why all of a sudden things would change and come to what they are now. It is hard adjusting to something that you know you did not do and yet you keep on asking why. IDK. Time will tell na nga lang siguro. Basta you guys are my friends. That's what I know. Sa mga real friends ko now... hehe. Wala lang. Hi. :D

---

Pa-special mention kay Kisa...haha. Dahil sakanya napablog ako about friends. Hahaha. i know you are having a hard time now but makakapag-adjust ka din ok? I hope you're happy. Happy 19th! :) Takits. :*

---

M, GB. 143. Can't wait to see you on the hardcourt. :)




timecheck: 10:13 PM







FLY BLACK HEARTS INTO THE SKY. Theme inspired by Chicosci's Diamond Shotgun.

rehinagrasia. She writes stuffs. And she believes that one must suffer before one could gain happiness. She is waiting for her own joy, even if it is not eternal...patiently and happily. :]





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