♥ Wednesday, April 12, 2006 ♥
Loner's Passion.
Bored. Sound trip.
Fwendship Tom.
Hay, I supposed some outsider discovered my blogs again. Someone who should not be reading this. Oh well, that is what my blogs are for. Come on egghead. Step into my office.
I hanged with Tom yesterday. As in chikahan to the max. Now I feel I was just one inch far from my childhood friends. He updated me all regarding the events in school. ALL. He did not change though his environment did. :D
He showed me their new class picture, at leche flan si Leah, hindi sinipotpot ung class photo. They were only 20 and that will be 21 if I stayed there.
Lemme speak! No, instead I stayed speechless. It was more of *oohs* *ahs* *talaga?* *ows* *nice* . . . teka, ang haba pa nito, *owstalagareally* na lang rin pati. Hehe. Ang daming changes. It was really good to hear it all from Tom.
Aion, one of my childhood sweethearts, si John, he got himself a girlfriend na. Si Jenning mathematician, still the same damot-kaya-malas-sa-huli girl and malanjutay na. Ahehe. Sila Nini, Willo Boy, Jah-jah, ipis-er este, opiser na ng CAT! Oooyyy, laki ulo. :D. Ang dyosang si c-an, pa-headband headband na lang ha, FEEL THE AROMA pala ha! Si Bert, ang aking masugid na manliligaw got himself a girlfriend na rin but they did not last that long. He confessed to me that it only reminds him of me when he is with his girl. Thinking that he was being unfair, he broke up with his girl. Aww! Oist, wala ako jan ha. La damayan. =p. Misyueh guys! Lovelove.
What is up with me now? Aion. I just talked with Leah sa phone too. Ka-miss tong lokang to. Humanda ka sa kin sa 22. Di mo sinipotpot and class pic! Bruha! Ang dyosa nga nandun. I hate you. Hehe. Love you. Mwuah!
Tapos we were having practices for cheering competition, which will be held at San Andres Gym. Aion. Tapos they were forcing me to join the Muse. Lemme think - hindi ko alam eh. It was good anyway, hanging out with other dako's MT. Saya naman kasama. :D
Last Song Syndrome: I have heard this twice in 94.7 but I dunno its title yet. It goes something like:
I just know your life is gonna change
Maybe not today
Maybe not today
Someday
Soon you'll be alright . . . (kewL huh?)
Plus this: Alipin by Shamrock
Ako'y alipin mo kahit hindi batid
Aaminin kong minsa'y ako'y manhid . . .
Cge-cge. I've got loads of stuffs to do. Buhyers!
P.S. I am seeing my blog on my parent's cellphone. 'Stig paweh. Best!
Geh-geh. Ciao!
♥ Monday, April 10, 2006 ♥
Actually, my head is empty though I do not really feel so light... Am I dying? NAH. I am JUST moving.
Hmm, best word? Transferring. Oh hell, yeah! Isn't that great? Just last year I transferred from Montessori in Laguna to Adamson here in Manila and now I dunno where the hell I am transferring again. Do not I deserve to be with my second and newfound friends when I graduated in high school? Do I really have to be with new faces and environment again? Do I have to adjust again? Do I need to sacrifice again such meaningful memories, though that was just a year? Do I really have to move?
I wish I could state the reasons why I need to move neat and clear but I suppose no one will simply understand. Everyone, for sure is going to be like "Anu ba naman yan". Well, of course, except for those "chosen" people who knew this issue and whom I do not need to mention anymore.
This idea will haunt me, like forever you know. I hate this but I have nothing to do. If I stayed in Adamson, well, that would be a big miracle! Hello? Just one more year and I’ll be leaving this damn high school. Why can't I stay in this good old school?
I'm upset with this thought, plain mad here, curiosity bites like "oh, why?" I'm like paranoid; this idea drives me nuts, the player in my mind is rewinding so slow that even those small pieces of my memories were being recalled and reminisced by me. Since the day I changed schools, I always wished for an ordinary day. Where everything seems to be so comfortable, at ease and fine with me. However, I just have to repeat the feeling and serenity of an alien stepping to the dimensions of an unknown planet. Relocating. Here goes my loner side again.
I hope they haven't finalized such decision yet and perhaps, just perhaps, grant me one more year just until I graduate in AdU. This is trauma. It is slaughtering me gently and possibly, I might surrender. But we have to obey such rules. I ought to follow rather than defy. I must stay strong rather than be feeble. I should not even regret concerning this matter because things happen for reasons. I do not know what will I be and what will happen to me if I transferred but I must accept it whatever it is. But then, this saying must be malfunctioning coz its not working with me. It can't even convince me for now. I have to take the hard way in considering it.
Oh my goodness, gracious. How can I accept this stupid reality? And how will I deal with it? To make things worst, a friend of mine told me stuffs I never knew he would tell me. This is a big hitch I am suffering people. As in huge! Gigantic! Enormous! Large! Vast! This is not a mini matter. It's not what you think. Argh!
Let us put it this way. Kris Aquino, Boy Abunda, and Cristy Fermin were talking seriously at some stupid area because of something, uhm, also stupid? Oh yeah.
Kris: What are you talking about Tita Cristy? We should not move to the other station! That'll be a huge issue!
Cristy: I know Kris. But we have to. We've got problems here and that will be a larger problem if we don't stop it now.
Kris: I don't think I can move there. After all the hardships and everything I have treasured in here, I can't. That's not even a good point.
Cristy: This drives me crazy coz the problem involves us all. Let us just see what happens.
Boy: Kris, you know what, I have been trying to tell you something but I just can't have the right time.
Kris: What was it?
Boy: I don't want to leave you with a hard feeling. I know I did something unfair. But remember, my intentions were not bad. Don't think I ever deceived you. I could have been unfair but never deceitful.
Kris: Tito Boy, I never ever think that way. I know you had such reasons for being like that and I tried to understand it. I know you were never deceitful. Please don't make it hard for you to cope with these things. I'm OK with you, of course, except with that one situation.
Boy: What was that one situation?
Kris: Comparing me to your ex.
Boy: I'm sorry. My ex has been a big part of my life. I can never forget her. In no matter what I do I always see her. I can't help it. And my memories with her are haunting me. I'm very sorry for that. I hope you truly understand.
Kris: I understand it ever since you told me your problem.
Boy: Somehow, you mean something to me...
Here it is. I stand as Kris Aquino. Cristy as my mom. Boy as my friend. That's hell crazy, right? I admit it's getting on my nerves, wrecking my brain and breaking my heart already.
My mind is empty people, and I can't think of any possible way now in escaping this enormous problem making it hard for me to go on with my life. I know You are testing my faith up there, and at the same time, my strength. This is just a trial. A challenge. And I am trying to succeed, still.
♥ Wednesday, April 5, 2006 ♥
Hmm... maybe I could share that unexpected event that happened last week.
March 28,6:40 am, my Lola Zeni died. I was shocked when I heard it but I show no signs of emotions regarding the matter. I kept thinking about it though all day and I was looking forward in her lamay in Binan, Laguna.
March 30, Friday, we went there and I cannot believe that I was seeing my Lola Zeni in coffin already. It was terrible... really. I remember back my childhood years, whenever we drop by at their house and play with Kuya Ryan, Tita Jeng-jeng, Tito Jerome and Tito Jerson, I would call her lola but she would remind me to just call her tita insisting that she is not that old to be called lola. Her husband was the brother of my mom's mother, so we fondly call her lola too. So I was used in calling her tita and my sisters call her lola. Those very moments when she told me to call her tita were the only memories I have in mind when it comes to talking about her and our last visit at their home before we moved here in Manila. It was really miserable, that she died because of breast cancer. Anyway, I guess the big questions now were why were we affected? Why were we crying for her? My siblings and me were never into speaking terms again with them when we left Binan.
We used to live in Binan. The same street where Tita Zeni and her family lived until now. Tita Zeni's youngest child was Kuya Ryan. He was almost the same age as my Ate but he was already our tito because his siblings and him were my mom's cousins. Mom would bring us at their house and let us play with Kuya Ryan if we don't have guardians at home. Tita Jeng-jeng, Tito Jerome, Tito Jerson or Lola Zeni would watch over us. When we moved, a gap was made. And since it was waaayyy back our childhood days, we don't talk at each other anymore. Not even a smile or hi. We changed. They changed and all of us were grown-ups now. But Tita Zeni was always there, always there to remind us that childhood days. She has touched my life. She had been a part of my memory. Without her, not everything in me now is at their current positions or places. Maybe, I would not be thinking about my past now or just perhaps, I would not be typing anything so unexpected at all. It is hard seeing her family with such burdens. I know what was really behind their fake smiles last Sunday, when Tita Zeni was buried at Makati South Cemetery. It was awful... It was just... unbelievable.
But that is how reality bites. Things change. People come and go. People make us happy for quite some time and share us delightful and unforgettable moments yet leave us deep scars and a bleeding heart if they left. That is why people should not be taken for granted. Value and treasure them. If they are gone, they are gone. Remember that we do not lose people for we do not own them. It is just God's plan. And I reckon that I should be happy for Tita Zeni coz she is already up there, with the One who guides us and everyone down here. : D
Despite of the sudden death of a family relative, within that week, I got my card. It was also the last time I hanged out with some of my close friends for this school year. My family managed to attend the overnight swimming with my mom's employees at Pansol and the Ayala Family Day at Fontana Resort and Leisure Park at Clark, Pampanga with my dad's co-workers naman. Aion. At least naa- unwine. It was kind of boring sa Fontana but I enjoyed so much kasi I won 1000 worth of EGC. Haha! Shopping to! Oh, and I'm missing Laguna already. I might visit there on April’s birthday. Maybe after our trip to Nueva Ecija. Hectic, people. Hectic!
my sis,me,jazel,jeff.(fontana)
sisterhood.(fonatana)
sisterhood PART 2. Ahehe. (fontana)
cah_fah_ti_run!!! (overnight)
adek!(overnight)
I'm just lovin' summer.Sobra. ^-^
FLY BLACK HEARTS INTO THE SKY. Theme inspired by Chicosci's Diamond Shotgun.
rehinagrasia. She writes stuffs. And she believes that one must suffer before one could gain happiness. She is waiting for her own joy, even if it is not eternal...patiently and happily. :]
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