Today was something unbearable. I woke up with swollen red eyes after having a late night sob. Talked with Mom some stuffs last night until I suddenly felt a tear... then tear'S' while I discuss. Actually, the tears weren't meant for the issue I was blabbing about but was actually because I was in deep pain yesterday. Then I had a nap at dorm before going to school by 10am today. And my puffy eyes got puffier... worse, I felt a headache.

So everyone asked. No comment. Hirap magexplain. Haha. Then, sometime today, I was discussing old school boy band songs with my girlfriends. We were singing in unison until someone blabbed about this song. This awfully struck me. The lyrics seemed to pertain to no one but me. I mean every part of the song is what was happening, word by word. Haha. Why does it have to be like that when you're depressed? Every single song you hear seem to be a painful stabber in your chest? Tss. Deym.

Patawa. Sabi nga sa New Moon, "forbidden to remember, terrified to forget". IDK. Perhaps once everything is settled, I might forget. Im just afraid things would change. Pero Im starting na not because I want to but because I need to. I think if I would have had to hurt someone, if could, I would na in every way so as to part ways. Sorry for being mean. I need to be mean to let go.

Sabi ni Ms. Kechup, time will tell Mahal if I am yours.

For now, let's go back to basic. Even the basic still tears up our hearts.

How fast time flies nga naman. All of a sudden, second sem na. Bukas malamang, graduate na ko. Hahaha. Ae, kami pala. :) So, I was bored kanina. 1st day of second sem. But I was good. I was actually good. And I couldn't feel lighter although of course, there are things that lets you into deep thinking pa rin pero let's try to keep myself back on track. Haha. And be optimistic muna sa ngaun. My schedules are still deadly. Haha. And we're gaining new friends, hopefully.

FRIENDS. Pa-react lang ako ah. Kasi recently, I've been really puzzled with how my old friends respond.

- Sila. IDK what was the problem. Biglaan na lang ata ako nadamay sa kanila for no reason...or dahil sa mababang reason na hindi ko daw pagtulong sa machine prob? Haha. Easy lang. You know me na until now wala akong kinakampihan. Kaso parang minsan below the belt na ata eh. Easy lang po ah. Keribels lang. Wala po un sakin.

- Siya. Si 2yrs. IDK. (Teka, bat lahat, i dont know? x) Haha. Basta, all of a sudden he was bitter. I remember how every once in a while, before he shares his heartbreak night story, he would promise he would not do something against me...like what he did to all his other girl friends. Kaso, dumating din kami sa ganun...for inexplicable reason. I know time will come na we'll talk about this. Sana..... kasi yoko sya kagalit. He had no idea how he had once put me into bliss. :(

- Si KB at insekyora. Until now feeling nila sulutera pa din ako. Ahai Meron po akong sariling buhay pagibig. Pakitali na lang po ng maigi mga partner nio ok. Hindi ko po un gawain. I remember tuloy nung sophomore ako, a girl said to me she'll kill me. Last night, another girl said she could slap me in the face infront of Pop. Owkhay.... Sana ginawa nila nu.


FRIENDS. Friends ko kayo ok. Wala po akong something against you. Sana po may paunang sabi naman. Wag biglaan. T_T

Im not saying this to keep myself clean or something. I just do not know why all of a sudden things would change and come to what they are now. It is hard adjusting to something that you know you did not do and yet you keep on asking why. IDK. Time will tell na nga lang siguro. Basta you guys are my friends. That's what I know. Sa mga real friends ko now... hehe. Wala lang. Hi. :D

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Pa-special mention kay Kisa...haha. Dahil sakanya napablog ako about friends. Hahaha. i know you are having a hard time now but makakapag-adjust ka din ok? I hope you're happy. Happy 19th! :) Takits. :*

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M, GB. 143. Can't wait to see you on the hardcourt. :)

You came along because I love your face.

Hi blog. It has been a while since I was out. It was hard doing all the school works, church duties and well, other stuffs lately. I need not elaborate more coz I find it so stressful thinking the past days.

Grades. My grades suck more than how I suck, which I think is good. Hahaha. Labo.
Mystify. Owkhay. You know how he crashed dreams right.
Friends. We're underdogs or what, high class? Haha. Sorry. Ang oldskool ng mga petty fights, guys.
Orgs. Hudyat Grad Issue has been released. One of my articles was included...ok naman. Sa other orgs...aun...natatamad ako. Hehe.
Scheds. Corny nito. Ginagawa pang issue. Hahaha. Affected. >.
Codes. Selfish airlines. Star. Mobile Apps. Name it...and the issues that goes with it.
Case Study. Darn. But did great. :)

This sem had been really tiring and Im glad na tapos na din cia. Magulo kung sa magulo talaga pero un talaga eh. With all that has surpassed the earth, you can never really tell what will happen next...

....

I am in the middle of something tonight. I am actually just staring on bits of information in the computer, typically rounding the net kanina pa. Suddenly I realized.....I missed the net. Hahaha. (Taeng router yan) And my other cyberaccounts so I decided to update.

I came home from enrollment. And I am feeling badly sick because I am so tired that I feel like getting a massage tomorrow. Hm. So what.

Like I have mentioned before, there are certain things I wanted so much to spill but chose not to for some inexplicable reasons. I am actually in bliss, that I am finding it hard to look for a cure to help me stay calm with the fast paced events.

She stares. He looks backs. She waves. He appears. She researches. He chats. She listens. He talks. Then suddenly, he and she becomes they. They talked. They ate. They chatted. They texted. They walked under the rain. They rode on a bus. They held hands. They hugged. They kissed. They loved.

Everything seemed to be right on track but, like any other seemingly perfect affairs, there are misunderstood consequences. Perhaps, This was HIS warning. I maybe forgetting other things that are in dire need of attention, rather than some senseless stuffs I have been doing lately. Hae.

my failing grade. my dream for dad a failure. my forbidden love.

I could not think of any reason why HE shall not tap me. And I am glad HE already did. PRAYERS. Unanswered prayers will be granted in other forms. So I decided to talk to mom about everything. Last night, about the tres thing. And after WS today, about the AYLC stuff that struck me and made me cry. I even told her about the guy behind the ube and cassava. Haha. She was fine. And I am glad she understood me.

....

Everything that happened during the semestral break will never be forgotten. Especially the last day, before we parted ways. All the deadly words were meant.

Im sorry we had to end up like talking trashes. Its better than a formal goodbye I guess. I will just miss you more if I did it a tamed pussy way, where I am just making you believe that Im ok, when in fact, I am not.

....


Tonight is already past midnight after 5minutes more.

And I miss the cold nights under my thin sheets listening to his stories and other non-sense lines, and the exchange of dropping of deadly words. Mornings will be back to normal. Anyway, he knows how I despairingly wanted to be with him and how I crave for longer moments with just us together.











2yrs.
Crossfingers.


Let's try to keep this updated.I don't know if I would sleep well tonight. Nyt. :*