Hi blog. Its been again, as usual, a while since my last post. :( After updating you, I began abandoning you (almost) again. And here I am, at my depressed state and I come to no one and shed tears but to you.
Anyway, there have been some pretty stuffs lately. And hey, in case you didn't notice, you're turning 5 on 17 :'). Its already 2011 and yes, I missed telling you my 20th bday, my PNK Pasalamat, my Globe Internship, my 4th Year 1st sem hiatus, my on-the-spot Tswift Syndrome, my holidays and new yr. :|
Sorry dear. But as you know, since my students days are almost over in a past few months, I am really looking forward that before 2012 I would land on a decent job and by my 21st bday I would have my own earnings. I look much this year. Because as you do not really know, my 2010 was tragic. And all stuffs that had happened that year were all kept secret. So if you're wondering why my posts aren't so much last year, that's why. I was sad dear. I was really really sad :(
Tonight I just want to blurt it all out to you as I confide to no one but to God and you. (Great, that rhymes. hehe. ) It just breaks my heart whenever I think about all of the stuff and time that just slipped off me. I always ask myself, "Was there something really wrong?". I do not know how to deal already. It was as if I did not prepare for this.
Tonight, like I to you, I was abandoned by the love of my life. The love of my 3 years. The love of my heart. My first love. And just like that he returned to my bare hands my heart, shattered and broken, aided by bandages of our love affair I do not know if I still want to treasure. :'( Every night he doesn't know I pray that one day he'll realize I could have been the girl, the girl he would want to be with forever. Treating him as my prince wasn't a love story, but a tragic affair.
And I felt like just writing everything and everything so I would not be reminded of the 365th, my sleepless night where in contrast he would soundly sleep, my puffy red eyes in the morning, monthsaries not shared and splits, special occasions not remembered, dates arguing... everything bad.
I only want to remember everything nice. Those nice afternoon panata days, the late-night walks and meet-ups, morning shuttle ride and innocent smiles. I want him to be remembered as the man of the future who had treated me a ride with his white horse and not the prince who left me bitterly in the forsaken fortress far far away....
To YOU who made everything I AM TODAY..... I will show you my heart one day, fragile again, like it used to be when you first caressed it. :'(
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